Neighborhood Tales (A Script)

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(Script Version)

CREDITS

WRITER: Claire

WOMAN1:

MAN1:

INTERVIEWER:

INTERVIEWEE/GIRL2:

GROUP OF KIDS IN TREES:

BOY1: Adam

(Man with tie and button down walks up to red door)

(Man rings door bell)

(Woman walks to door and opens it)

WOMAN1:

(Camera pointed at woman)

(Surprised) Who are you?

MAN1:

(Camera pointed at Man)

(Calm) I am Alfred Smith.

WOMAN1:

(Camera pointed at woman)

(Frustrated) I thought I got away from you!

MAN1:

(Camera pointed at Man)

(Laughing) Ha he, apparently not!

(Man smiles)

:END SCENE ONE:

–

(Start Scene Two)

:CAP ON:

:CAP OFF:

:GIRL SITS IN CHAIR FOR INTERVIEW:

INTERVIEWER:

(Questioningly) “So, what happened?”

GIRL/INTERVIEWEE:

(Tired, and looking up at Interviewer) “It’s a long story.”

:CAMERA STOPS AND SHOOTS IN OTHER PLACE:

:TITLE AND CREDITS:

:BLANK:

:LIGHT:

:OPENS IN FRONT YARD:

:MUSIC STARTS “???”:

:KIDS PLAYING OUT SIDE:

BOY1:

(GRUFFLY) (BOY HAS A NERFGUN IN HAND) “Okay, here’s the plan: Go up in the pine trees and wait for the signal.”

:KIDS BREAK AND RUN FOR THE TREES:

GIRL1:

(LOUD WHISPER) “Go! Go on! Hurry up they’re coming!”

:CAMERA IN TREE:

:ALL KIDS CLIMB IN PINE TREES AND WAIT  FOR SIGNAL:

:CAMERA DOWN FOLLOWING  TWO GIRLS OLDER GIRLS:

GIRL2:

(GIGGLEING) “Tehe! Oh that’s funny. Uh oh, Where are the little kids?

:GIRL2 LOOKS AT GIRL1 NERVOUSLY:

GIRL3:

(NERVOUSLY)”Uh oh…”

:CAMERA IN TREE:

KIDS IN TREES:

(WHISPERING) “One, two, THREE!”

:KIDS IN TREES YELL WAR CRIES AND SHOOT DOWN AT THE 2 GIRLS:

: 2 GIRLS BELOW TREES GET PELLTED WITH NERFGUN BULLETS:

: 2 GIRLS BELLOW TREES YELL WAR CRIES:

: 2 GIRLS BELLOW TREES COVER THEY’RE HEADS AND DO A COUNTER ATTACK WITH PINECONES:

:KIDS IN TREES JUMP OUT OF TREES AND START SHOOTING AT CLOSE RANGE:

:VARIOUS KIDS FALL DOWN IN FAKE DEATHS:

GIRL3 TO GIRL2:

(YELLING TO DROWN OUT SOUND OF WAR) “ I don’t think we can hold them much longer!”

GIRL2 TO GIRL3:

(YELLING ALSO) “TOO TRUE!! FALL BACK!”

:2 GIRLS FALL BACK AND GET BEHIND BUSH FOR PROTECTION:

:KIDS CIESE FIRE:

:BOY1 WALKS UP TO 2 GIRLS:

:BOY1 SHAKES HAND WITH GIRLS:

BOY1:

(Calmly) “Good war, would you like to sign a treaty?”

:GIRL2 SHAKES HAND:

GIRL2:

(PANTING) “Thanks, um, I guess so. Do you so promise to never again make war with us?”

BOY1:

“Do you?”

GIRL2:

(Confidently) “Yes, Indeed.”

BOY1:

“Okay, so do I.”

:END SCENE 2:

–

:START SCENE 3:

INTERVIEWER:

(CONFUSED) “So, what does this have to do with Alfred Smith?”

INTERVIEWEE:

(Confidently)”Everything. But anyway I’m getting to that.”

INTERVIEWER:

(CONFUSED) “Okay… Carry on then.”

INTERVIEWEE:

“Okay then. As I was saying-“

:VOICE OVER:

:PARTY OUTSIDE:

“- it was my birthday, and I was having a party with all my friends, we had a cookout. It was one of the best parties I’ve had in a while.”

:PEOPLE OUTSIDE SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY AS HER MOTHER BRINGS OUT A BIRTHDAY CAKE:

: PEOPLE CUT CAKE AND PASS AROUND PIECES:

:GIRL1 WALKS OVER TO GIRL 2:

GIRL1:

“Happy birthday!”

GIRL2:

“Thanks! How do you like the cake?”

GIRL1:

“Very, very, good!”

GIRL2:

“I thought so. Hey, I was going to invite you to my sleepover. What ya think?”

GIRL1

(REMEBERINGLY) “Oh yeah, I think I can, it should be awesome!”

:VOICE OVER:

:GIRLS IN BEDROOM TALKING:

INTERVIEWEE/GIRL2:

“So, we went up to my room and had a sleepover, we all got in out pajamas, and “tried” to sleep.”

:A BIG THUMP IN BACKROUND:

:ALL THE GIRLS BECOME VERY QUIET:

GIRL2:

(NERVOUS) “SHH! What was that?”

GIRL1:

(NERVOUS) “I seriously don’t know, maybe someone should c-check i-it o-ou-out…”

GIRL2:

(NERVOUS) “Okay Naomi, go ahead.”

GIRL1:

(ANGRY WHISPER) “I never said that I wanted to!”

(ALL THE GIRLS HIDE BEHIND EACH OTHER)

( GIRL4 STANDS UP )

GIRL4:

(BRAVELY) “You’re all a bunch a’ sissies.”

:GIRL4 STANDS UP AND WALKS OUT OF THE DARK ROOM TO FIND SOUND:

:GIRL5 STANDS UP AND SOLUTES GIRL4, ONLY TO BE YANKED DOWN AGAIN BY ANOTHER GIRL:

:GIRL4 WALKS AROUND HOUSE:

GIRL2:

(SADLY) “She’s gotta be dead by now. Poor Sydney!”

:OTHER GIRLS SIGH AND GROUN:

:SYDNEY YELLS:

:OTHER GIRLS GASP:

:SYDNEY COMES BACK UP TO THE BEDROOM:

:THE GIRLS SIGH:

GIRL2

(HAPPYLY) “Oh Sydney! You’re Okay!”

:SYDNEY GRABS HER CHEST IN PAIN:

SYDNEY:

(PAINFULLY) “He got me! I’ve been shot! Aug, I can’t hold on much longer. Wait, is that a light in the distant, distance? Oh! Aug!”

:SYDNEY FALLS TO THE GROUND:

:ALL THE GIRLS ECCEPT ONE RUN TO SYDNEY:

:THE ONE GIRL LEFT BEHIND STOOD STALK STILL WITH HER MOUTH WIDE OPEN:

NAOMI TO GIRL2:

(WORRYED) “Will she live Joy?”

JOY:

(PROFESINALLY) “It’s too early to tell. Maybe.”

:SYDNEY HOPS UP:

SYDNEY:

(SMILINGLY) “April fools!”

:ALL THE GIRLS LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN ANOYANCE:

NAOMI:

(ANOYED) “I knew you were fakin’ it”

JOY:

(ANOYED) “It’s November.”

:THE GIRLS NODED IN AGREEMENT:

NAOMI:

“So what was the noise?”

SYDNEY:

(ANOYED) “It was just Martin.”

:INTERVIEW:

INTERVIEWEE/JOY:

“Martin is my little brother. He often sneaks snacks at night.”

INTERVIEWER:

(CONFUSED) “Okay…”

:VOICE OVER:

:BEDROOM:

:GIRLS FELL ASLEEP:

INTERVIEWEE/JOY:

“So we finally got to sleep, and the next morning everyone had to go home.”

:END SCENE:

–

JOY:

“Mama? Why is there a dude in the driveway?”

MOM:

(SURPRISED) “What? Joy, we live in the country, there can’t be a guy on the driveway?

:INTERVIEW:

INTERVIEWEE/JOY:

“There was a guy on the driveway. In our house it is quite rare for a car to come up the driveway, so we were pretty surprised. Us kids usually, for fun took pictures of the lisens plate and the person in it. Sure enough it was Mr Alfred Smith.”

:INTERVIEWER WAS QUITE INTERESTED:

INTERVIEWER:

(INTERESTED) “What happened next?”

:MR SMITH STEPPED OUT OF HIS CAR AND WALKED UP TO HER DOOR:

:JOYS MOM SIGHED AT THE SIGHT OF MR SMITH:

MOM:

(ANOYED) “Not again…”

:JOYS MOM GOT OUT HER CELL PHONE AND STARTED CALLING SOMEONE:

MOM:

(PLESANTLY) “Hello? Sheriff? Oh, yes sorry, I can wait.”

:JOYS MOM SIGHED AND LOOKED OUT NERVOUSLY AT MR SMITH:

:MR SMITH WAS KNOCKING ON THE DOOR:

MOM:

(NERVOUSLY) “Hello sheriff. Um, could you come out and check out this man on my porch? Okay thanks.”

:MR SMITH LOOKED IN AT HER:

:MR SMITH WAVED AND SMILED:

:JOYS MOM WAS VERY SCARED AND PICKED UP THE PHONE AGAIN:

:JOYS MOM PUNCHED IN 991 ON THE CELL:

:JOYS MOM WAITED:

MOM:

(NERVOUS) “Hello? 911?”

LADY1:

(HAPPILY) “Department of conversation, this is Sally what would you like to talk about?”

MOM:

(CONFUSED) “What? Nevermind, I need someone to come to this locat-“

SALLY:

“We can’t leave our offices to talk with guests personally.You know, this happens a lot, maybe we should change our number…”

MOM:

(CONFUSED) “You are really starting to confuse me. There is a guy trying to get in my house!”

SALLY:

(WORRYED) “Oh dear! What are you gonna do?”

MOM:

(ANOYED) “Nevermind.”

:JOYS MOM HUNG UP AND SAT ON THE COUCH:

:MARTIN WALKS IN AND SITS DOWN ON COUCH EATING CHIPS:

MARTIN:

(OBLIVIANT) “Hey, did you know there’s a guy on the driveway.”

:JOYS MOM LOOKS OVER AT MARTIN ANOYED:

MOM:

(ANOYED) “Yeah, I know.”

:MARTIN LOOKS UP FROM HIS CHIPS:

MARTIN:

(CONFUSED) “Okay… Hey Mama?”

MOM:

“What?”

MARTIN:

“Is it Mr. Smith again?”

MOM:

“Well, yeah.”

MARTIN:

(COURAGEOUS) “Okay Mama.”

:MARTIN WALKS OFF:

:MARTIN COMES BACK WITH HOLSTERS AND CAP GUNS:

MARTIN:

“I can take ‘em Mama”

:MARTIN WALKS UP TO GLASS DOOR:

MARTIN:

(YELLING) “You get ya’ big ol’ weirdo! I should let the cow out, she’d would teach you a lesson! Now get! Ya’ hear?!”

:MARTIN WALKS UP TO MOM:

MARTIN:

(PROUDLY) “I got em’ Mama.”

:MARTIN SMILES BRAVELY:

:MOM GIGGLES SILENTLY:

:MARTIN LOOKS OUT WINDOW:

:THERE IS A POLICE CAR:

MARTIN:

(CONSERINED) “Why’s the sheriff here?”

MOM:

“Nevermind. Why don’t you guys play outside?”

:MARTIN LOOKS AT MOM AMAZED:

MARTIN:

(AMAZED) “*GASP* that is a fantastic idea!”

MOM:

(SMILEING) “I’m glad you think so, now go on! How about you make a movie?

:MARTIN LOOKS AT MOM AMAZED:

MARTIN:

(AMAZED) “Woah, you are amazing at ideas.”

:MOM LAUGHS:

MOM:

(YELLING) “Joy! Come out and play outside with your brother!”

:JOY RUNS DOWN STAIRS JUMPING OVER STEPS:

JOY:

(YELLING) “Kay Mama!”

:MARTIN AND JOY RUN OUTSIDE WITH CAMERA:

MARTIN:

“Lets go to the woods!”

JOY:

“Naw, I’ve got another idea. Martin, go get on your church clothes.”

:MARTIN STOPS WALKING AND SLUMPS OVER:

JOY:

“What’s wrong?”

MARTIN:

“I don’t like my church clothes! They’re too hard to get on.”

JOY:

(ANOYED) “Just get them on would ya’?!”

:MARTIN WALKS IN AND COMES OUT WITH NICE CLOTHES ON:

JOY:

“Thanks Martin.”

MARTIN:

“Is that guy gone yet?”

JOY:

“Yup.”

MARTIN:

“Ok, hey, I wanna watch Star Trek.”

JOY:

“Great job Martin!!! You just gave me a spectacular idea!”

MARTIN:

(SURPRISED) “I did? Oh, yeah, of course I did. He he.”

JOY:

“Remember your last birthday when we wrapped you in tin foil?”

MARTIN:

(CONFUSED) “Yeah…”

JOY:

“Go get some tin foil and I’ll explain.”

: MARTIN LEAVES AND COMES BACK WITH TIN FOIL:

: MONTAUGE OF JOY WRAPPING MARTIN IN TIN FOIL:

(This is the new part)

:MUSIC: Nocturnes (3) For Piano, Op. 9, Ct. 108-110:

: MONTAUGE OF JOY WRAPPING MARTIN IN TIN FOIL:

:MONTAUGE STOPS:

:JOY SMILES:

:CAMERA MOVES TO MARTIN WRAPPED IN TIN FOIL:

JOY:

(TIRED) “There!”

:MARTIN GLARES AT JOY:

:MARTIN TRYS TO TALK:

JOY:

(CONFUSED) “What was that?”

:MARTIN TRYS TO TALK AGAIN:

JOY:

(CONFIRMED) “Oh, that’s what you mean’t.”

:JOY PULLS DOWN TIN FOIL SO THAT MARTIN CAN TALK:

MARTIN:

(ANOYED) “Get me out!!!”

JOY:

“No, remember? I said we where gonna-”

:JOY CONTINUES SENTIANCE WHISPERING:

MARTIN:

(CONFIRMED)”Oh yeah.”

JOY:

“Well, lets get going!”

:MARTIN AND JOY WALK OFF:

:FAMILY SIT DOWN ON COUCH AWAITING THE MOVIE PREMERE:

:JOY STANDS:

JOY:

(LOUD) “The Harmony Family proudly presents…”

:MARTIN STANDS:

:MARTIN FINISHES HER SENTANCE:

MARTIN:
(LOUD) “…Alfred Smith!!!”

:JOY AND MARTIN SIT:

:FAMILY CLAPS:

:MOVIE STARTS:

:CAMERA CLOOSES UP ON COMPUTER SCREEN:

:CAMERA SHOWS ACTUAL MOVIE OUT OF COMPUTER SCREEN:

:MAN WALKS UP TO DOOR:

:MAN KNOCKS ON DOOR:

:LADY  COMES OUT:

LADY:

(CONFUSED) “Who are you?”

MAN:

(HAPPY) “I’m Alfred Smith.”

LADY:

(CONFUSED) “Why are you here?”

ALFRED SMITH:

(HAPPY) “I’m here, for you to sign here, to get your free copy of how not to be an idiot for dummies. Only 12.95!”

LADY:

(CONFUSED) “I thought you said it was free?”

ALFRED SMITH:

(HAPPY) “Oh, the 12.95? That’s shipping and handling, but of course the book is free.”

LADY:

(NORMAL) “Okay, I’ll take one then, how much is it again?”

ALFRED SMITH:

(HAPPY) “14.95”

LADY:

(CONFUSED) “Wasn’t it 12?”

ALFRED SMITH:

(HAPPY) “Well, technically, time is money, so you owe me 2 dollars, shall I make it 4?”

LADY:

(AGGREVATED) “No, just take the 2 dollars extra and leave. Now, where’s my book?”

ALFRED SMITH:

(HAPPY) “It will be shipped, like the others.”

LADY:

(ANGRY) “Okay, how long will it take then?”

ALFRED SMITH:

(HESITANT) “Only 14 months…”

LADY:

(ANGRY) “14 Months?!? Fine, fine, just get off my porch!”

ALFRED SMITH:

(HAPPY) “My pleasure, goodbye!”

:ALFRED SMITH WALKS OFF:

:LADY WALKS IN HER DOOR AS SHE SHAKES HER HEAD IN DISBEILVE:

::END SCENE::

–

::START SCENE::

:INTERVIEW PLACE:

INTERVIEWER:

(YELLING) “Next!”

:ALFRED SMITH WALKS UP AND SITS IN CHAIR:

INTERVIEWER:

(TALKING) “So, do you promise to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?”

ALFRED SMITH:

(PLAIN) “I do.”

INTERVIEWER:

“We will now start the interview. What’s your side of the story?”

:VOICE OVER:

:CAMERA MOVES TO OTHER BUILDING:

:ALFRED SMITH WALKS IN AND SITS ON COMPUTER:

ALFRED SMITH:

“As you probably already know, I work at a publishing company. I get payed for every 5 books I sell. And Mrs. Harmony didn’t give me a clear answer, on if she wanted a copy.”

:ALFRED SMITH GETS HIS CLIP BOARD AND CHECKS OFF ‘Harmony’ THEN WALKS OUT

ALFRED SMITH:

“I had to, for my job.”

: ALFRED SMITH DRIVES IN CAR:

ALFRED SMITH:

“So, I did.”

:ALFRED SMITH GETS OUT OF CAR AND WALKS TO FRONT DOOR:

:ALFRED SMITH KNOCKS ON DOOR:

:LADY OPENS:

:NOT VOICE OVER:

ALFRED SMITH:

“Excuse me for coming again; I just need you to buy a copy so that I can buy food for my family. Please buy one! I beg of you!”

LADY:

(ANOYED) “No, get lost.”

ALFRED SMITH:

“Oh but Madam!”

:LADY SLAMS DOOR”

:ALFRED SMITH IN INTERVIEW”

ALFRED SMITH:

“She slammed the door on me.”

INTERVIEWER:

“Is that it?”

ALFRED SMITH:

“Yes.”

INTERVIEWER:

“You may leave.”

:ALFRED LEFT:

:FADE OUT:

:FADE IN:

:PERSON RINGS DOOR BELL:

:FADE OUT:

:FADE IN:

:MOM WALKS TO DOOR:

MOM:

(WORRIED) “Who could it be?”

:FADE OUT:

:FEET (SNEAKER SHOES) CAMERA GOES UP LITTLE GIRL:

LITTLE GIRL:

(HAPPY) “Hello Mrs Harmony!”

MOM:

(ANNOYED) “Hey Josephine. What ‘cha doin’?”

JOSEPHINE:

(HAPPY) “Nothin’ much. You?”

MOM:

(ANNOYED) “Not much. Well listen, I need to go back inside if you could, you know…leave…”

JOSEPHINE:

(SAD) “Okay, I guess I’ll just go back home, alone, by myself, with nobody. Goodbye Mrs Harmony.”

MOM:

(SORRY) “Oh, Josephine, go ahead. Come on in and eat all our food. Go ahead Josephine.”

JOSEPHINE:

(HAPPY) “Gee thanks! But, uh, I’m not hungry.”

MOM:

(SURPRISED) “Oh, really? Okay, what did you want then?”

JOSEPHINE:

(NORMAL) “I just wanted to tell you that it’s my birthday.”

MOM:

(SURPRISED) “Oh, really? Happy birthday Josephine! How old are you now?”

JOSEPHINE:

(CONFESSING) “Well, it’s not exactly my birthday…today I mean.”

MOM;

(CONFUSED) “Okay, then when is it?”

JOSEPHINE:

(CONFESSING) “Well, next month…but you can give me your present now! Right?”

MOM:

(THINKING TO HERSELF) “Were we even going to give her a gift?”

MOM:

(TALKING) “Um, well actually, we haven’t gotten you a present yet…”

JOSEPHINE:

(SURPRISED) “What?!?! That is abominable!!! How could you forget something so important?!? It’s OK though, I can wait…until tomorrow.”

MOM:

(ANGRY) “OK Josephine. Goodbye.”

JOSEPHINE:

(HAPPY) “Bye-bye Mrs. Harmony!”

:JOSEPHINE WAVED AND SKIPPED OFF THE FRONT PORCH:

:MOM SHUTS THE DOOR AND GOES INSIDE:

:END SCENE:

–

:START SCENE:

:ALFRED SMITH APARTMENT:

:ALFRED SMITH WALKS IN:

:ALFRED SMITH SITS:

:ALFRED SMITH LOOKS THOUGHTFULLY AT COMPUTER SCREEN:

:ALFRED TAPS FINGER ON KEY BOARD:

:ALFRED SMILES:

:ALFRED TYPES ON COMPUTER:

:COMPUTER SCREEN ON GOOGLE.COM:

:COMPUTER SCREEN ON GOOGLE.COM SAYS “GRAINFEILD RENTING”:

:ALFRED SMITH HITS “ENTER”:

:BLACK:

:LIGHT:

:VIDEO CAMERA:

:CAMERA MOVES OVER TO SEE STAGE:

JOY:

“OK, go on 3. 1, 2, 3!”

(PUPPET SHOW)

:MONKEY POPS UP:

MONKEY:

(HAPPY) “Hello! And welcome to The Monketeers! I’m your host, Mr. Smockinsnoucher. Today we have a wonderful show laid out for you our audience, so, let’s begin! First, let’s go for a visit to The Empty House.”

: SMOCKINSNOUCHER MOVES OVER :

: ONE MONKEY STEPS UP:

: ONE MONKEY SITS DOWN:

: BABY MONKEY STEPS UP:

: BABY MONKEY MUMBLES:

BABY MONKEY:

(MUFFLED) “Ad, eyre etera e oncing ou da wa’s”

: WORDS COME ON THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN:

WORDS:

“Dad, they’re literally bouncing off the walls.”

MOM2 FROM OTHER ROOM:

“Not literally dear, they’re just bouncing off the walls.”

:BOTH DAD AND BABY MONKEY LOOK BACK:

DAD:

(ANOYED) “Well, go tell them to be quiet then.”

:BOTH LOOK AT EACH OTHER:

BABY MONKEY:

(ANOYED) “Ey ount! All dey ay id, “E auent enin oud!” den dey ay “ake id oup wid ad!” an Id urty ired ou dem tayin dat ou ne. Arno and me aou ust ryin ou ay a ood o dame ou arbles, ut ey ount e uiet ong eno fo ss ou!”

WORDS:

“They won’t! All they say is, “We aren’t bein’ loud!” then they say, “Take it up with Dad!” and I’m pretty tired of them sayin’ that to me. Arnold and me were just tryin’ to play a good ol’ game of marbles, but, they won’t be quiet long enough for us to!”

MOM2 FROM OTHER ROOM:

“It’s Arnold and I, dear, if you were by yourself would you say “Me was just playing marbles.”?

:DAD LOOKS UP AT BABY MONKEY:

DAD:

“You better start getting’ better grammar son, your mother might blow a gasket.”

:BABY MONKEY NODS IN UNDERSTANDMENT:

:DAD SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF:

: “Empty House” ENDS AND SMOCKINSNOCHER COMES UP:

SMOCKINSNOCHER:

(LAUGHING) “Ha ha, he, that was a good one.”

: SMOCKINSNOCHER WIPES A TEAR FROM HIS EYE”

SMOCKINSNOCHER:

“Now for a break…”

:MARTIN PUTS LENSE CAP ON:

:MARTIN AND JOY RUN TO AIRLOCK WITH CAMERA:

JOY:

(WHISPERING) “Go on! Be quiet now! Let’s go!”

:MARTIN TAKES LINSE CAP OFF:

:MARTIN WALKS UP AND SITS IN CHAIR:

MARTIN:

(SALES PERSON VOICE) “Have you ever broken something…”

:MARTIN PICKS UP BROKEN CAMERA:

MARTIN:

(SALES PERSON VOICE) “…like a camera, beyond repair? Do not let that mishap happen again, call 1800-We-Break and we’ll brake everything in sight so that you don’t do it!”

JOY BEHIND CAMERA:

(SINGING) “We brake because we can!”

:MARTIN SMILES AND PUTS HIS THUMB UP:

:JOY PUTS LEINSE CAP ON:

:BOTH RUN BACK:

MARTIN:

(WHISPERING) “Hurry up, Joy!”

JOY:

(WHISPERING) “I’m goin’, I’m goin’. Remember Martin, they can hear everything we say.”

:MARTIN NODS AT JOY:

:BOTH REACH DESTINATION:

:MARTIN GOES BEHIND COUCH:

:JOY TAKES OFF LINSE CAP:

:SMOCKINSNOUCHER GOES ON STAGE:

SMOCKINSNOUCHER:

“Welcome back to The Monketteers, I’m your host, Mr. Smockinsnoucher, up next we have a special song being sung by, oh! Me! Okay, I’ll be singing The Barber of Seville.”

:SMOCKINSNOUCHER GOES BEHIND STAGE AND GOES BACK ON:

SMOCKINSNOUCHER:

(SINGING BARBER OF SEVEL)

:SMOCKINSNOUCHER BOWS AND STEPS BEHIND COUCH:

:SMOCKINSNOUCHER RETURNS TO THE FRONT OF THE COUCH:

SMOCKINSNOUCHER:

“Wow, that was stupendous! Or, uh, nevermind…we have just one more presentation. Here’s Mute lip sinking,”

SMOCKINSNOUCHER:

(WHISPERING) “This should be good.”

SMOCKINSNOUCHER:

(NORMAL) “On with the show!”

:SMOCKINSNOUCHER WALKS BEHIND COUCH:

:BABY MONKEY/MUTE WALK UP:

:BABY MONKEY/MUTE PUTS HAND DOWN FOR SIGNAL:

: “The Barber of Seville” turns on in background :

:MUTE MOVES HIS HEAD AND HANDS TO THE MUSIC AS IF HES SINGING:

:SONG ENDS AND MUTE BOWS AND LEAVES:

:SMOCKINSNOCHER WALKS UP ON COUCH:

SMOCKINSNOUCHER:

“That was a great performance, Mute. Well, that just about wraps up this edition of, The Monketteers. Hope to see you next time, and remember, don’t forget to take your yearly bath, after the second year you start getting stinky.”

::END SCENE::

–

::START SCENE::

:JOY STOPS MOVIE AND LOOKS UP:

JOY:

(EXITED) “So, what ‘cha think?”

MOM:

(HAPPY) “It was splendid! You all are talented at making movies. So, what next?”

JOY:

“Hmm, you’ll see.”

:JOY SMILED CALLED TO MARTIN GRABED THE CAMERA AND RAN OURSIDE:

:CAMERA MOVES OUTSIDE IN FIELD BEFORE JOY AND MARTIN GOT THERE:

:MARTIN AND JOY RAN UP CLOSE TO CAMERA:

:MARTIN IS BEHIND JOY:

MARTIN:

(YELLING UP AT HER) “What are you doin’?”

JOY:

“You’ll see!”

:MARTIN STOPED AND BREATHED DEEPLY:

:MARTIN STARTED RUNNING:

:BOTH WENT PAST CAMERA:

:CAMERA MOVES TO FOREST:

:JOY RUNS UP AND LOOKS AROUND CONTENTLY:

:MARTIN RUNS UP TO JOY AS JOY TALKS:

JOY:

(HAPPY) “This should be awesome!”

MARTIN:

(TIRED) “I sure hope so, I just ran half way across the property.”

JOY:

(ANOYED) “Oh, come on Marty.”

:MARTIN SLUMPED UP AHEAD:

MARTIN:

(TIRED) “What are you doin’?”

JOY:

“Makin’ a movie! You didn’t figure that out already?”

MARTIN:

(ANOYED) “Well, I had no time between runnin’ an’ almost dyin’.”

:JOY SHAKES HEAD IN DISBELIEF:

JOY:

(NORMAL) “OK, Martin? Can you go get the tripod?”

MARTIN:

(TIRED) “Can I? I think I’d die.”

JOY:

(ANOYED) “OK, you just stay here and I’ll come back with the tripod.”

MARTIN:

“O-OK…”

:JOY RAN BACK:

:MARTIN LOOKED AROUND SCAREDLY:

MARTIN:

(CONSEREND) “J-J-Joy?!?”

:BIRDS FLY OFF:

:MARTIN RUNS HOME:

MARTIN:

(SCARED) “Joy?!? Where are you?!? Joy!!!”

:JOY RUNS OUT TO MEET MARTIN HALFWAY:

JOY:

(CONFUSED) “I thought I asked you to stay down there?”

MARTIN:

(SCARED) “Joy, I’m positive there is a escaped convict down there.”

NARRORATOR:

“Joy knew that there was always a possibility for something like that.”

:JOY THINKS ABOUT THIS WITH HER HAND SCRATCHING HER SCALP:

NARRORATOR:

“ So, like any sane person would do, she alerted the authorities, well, her dad at least.”

:JOY PULLS ON HER DADS SLEVE AND MOUTHES “There’s a possible escaped convict on our property.”:

:JOYS DAD LOOKS AT WEIRD JOYS DAD MOUTHS “Where Joy?”:

:JOY MOUTHS “In the forest.”:

:JOYS DAD GETS UP AND MOUTHS “Come on Joy, show me where.”:

:JOY SHAKES HER HEAD AND MOUTHS “No, um, actually, Martin found him.”

:JOYS DAD SHOOK HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF:

:JOYS DAD WALKS OUTSIDE:

:CAMERA GOES OUTSIDE:

:DAD2 WALKS UP TO MARTIN:

DAD2:

“Where is he?”

MARTIN:

(CONFUSED) “I don’t know. Somewhere in the forest?”

:DAD2 NODED HIS HEAD AS IF HE WAS SAYING “Come on.”:

:MARTIN AND DAD2 WALKED ON PAST CAMERA:

:CAMERA MOVES PAST THEM TO FOREST:

:DAD2 AND MARTIN WALK UP LOOKING AROUND:

DAD2:

“OK, son, where’s the escaped convict?”

MARTIN:

(SCARED) “W-W-What? I d-d-didn’t say I saw him. But, I know he is here somewhere.”

:DAD2 SHOOK HIS HEAD:

DAD2:

(CONFUSED) “So, you have no proof that there is an escaped convict?”

MARTIN:

“Well, I saw birds fly off, like there was someone else here.”

DAD2:

“Where did you see the birds?”

MARTIN:

“Over in that patch of trees, over there. You see?”

DAD2:

(NORMAL) “It’s probably just a deer.”

MARTIN:

(NORMAL) “I don’t think that a deer would make that many birds fly off.”

DAD2:

(NORMAL) “Maybe you scared them.”

MARTIN:

(NORMAL) “No, I don’t think I did…”

DAD2:

(NORMAL) “Hmm, I’m sure it’s nothing.”

:BIRDS FLEW AWAY:

MARTIN:

(SCARED) “See? There! It happened again! Did either of us move?”

DAD2:

(NORMAL) “No, I didn’t see anyone move. Martin, go get the shotgun.”

NARRORATOR:

“Martin knew not to question his father when he asked him to get the gun. So, he ran quickly home, without another word.”

:MARTIN RUNS BACK HOME:

:DAD2 LOOKS AROUND:

DAD2:

(LOUD) “Show yourself! This is private property! I am licensed to shoot!”

:MARTIN RAN BACK TO DAD2:

MARTIN:

(CURIOUS) “What is it Dad?”

:DAD2 LOADED THE GUN:

DAD2:

(NORMAL) “Not sure, but it sure ain’t lil’ bunnies!”

NARRORATOR:

“When Martin’s dad got scared, all grammar went out the window.”

:MARTIN LOOKED UP AT DAD2:

MARTIN:

(CURIOUS) “I wonder if it’s a b’ar. Y’ know, I heard tell that th’ar’s a b’ar wond’rin’ ‘round these parts.”

NARRORATOR:

“Martin also, lost all sense of grammar when there was a hunt going on.”

:DAD2 POINTED GUN:

DAD2:

(EXITED) “Well, we know it ain’t a person. It’s gotta be some other kind of trespasser. The kind that’s good next to mashed potatoes and gravy. Stan’ back, son. This thing sure does give a kick.”

:MARTIN STEPPED BACK:

:MARTIN PUT HIS FINGERS IN HIS EARS:

:DAD2 PUT EAR PLUGS IN HIS EARS:

DAD2:

(WHISPERING) “Be careful son. Here I go.”

NARRORATOR:

“Martin’s dad took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. What happened next was quite unexpected.”

:GUN GOES OFF:

:MARTIN AND DAD2 RUN OUT OF FOREST COUGHING, GAGING, AND LAUGHING:

MARTIN:

(LAUGHING) “Y’ done did shot a skunk!”

DAD2:

(LAUGHING) “ Y’ can laugh now, but, you’ll be doin’ your best not to be cryin’ later.”

NARRORATOR:

“Yes, they done did shot a skunk. Don’t ask why the birds flew away because of that. But I guess every animal has instincts, whether you chose to use them or not.”

:MARTIN AND HIS DAD KNOCK ON THE DOOR OF THERE HOUSE:

:MOM1 WALKS UP TO DOOR THEN STEPS BACK:

MOM1:

(COUGHING) “No, I think you’ll just have to hose off first…”

:MARTIN AND HIS DAD OUTSIDE OF THE DOOR YELLING BACK:

MARTIN:

(ANOYED) “We did. This stuff sticks Ma’. Hope you didn’t mind us use’n your towels of the line.”

MOM1:

(WHISPERING) “Not the skunk again.”

MOM1:

(YELLING) “Okay, um, you just stay out there and I’ll bring some soap…wait, no, I’ll bring some tomato soup.”

MARTIN:

(HAPPY) “Yay! I’m stavin’!”

MOM1:

(NORMAL) “Um, Martin, it’s so that you can dump it on your heads to get the stink off enough for you to come in and bathe in it. I don’t have any tomato juice, this will have to work.”

MARTIN:

(DISSAPOINTED) “Oh, ok, we’ll be out here. Probably on the lawn chairs.”

MOM1:

(QUICKLY) “No! Don’t sit on the chairs. Just uh… Sit, in a field, far away… I’ll put the tomato soup on the field closer to the house… just, stay in the farthest field away until I yell. Okay?”

DAD2:

(MISARABLE) “Okay. We won’t come out until you say.”

MOM1:

“Thanks hon’. Go on you guys. The quicker you go the faster you will get cleaned up so you can come in again.”

(MARTIN AND HIS DAD  SLUMPED OFF TO THE FIELDS)

NARRORATOR:

“The exchange went perfectly. Soon they were walking out of the bathroom all clean and fresh smelling.”

:MARTIN AND DAD2 WALKED TO THE KITCHEN:

:MARTIN LOOKED THOUGHTFUL:

: DAD2 LOOKED AT MARTIN:

DAD2:

(CONFUSED) “What’s wrong?”

MARTIN:

(THOUGHTFUL) “Oh, nothin’ I’m just thinking. How come in every movie where there is a person getting sprayed by a skunk, they take a bath in tomato juice an’ they come out all fresh an’ clean like they took a bath, though, they only bathe in tomato sauce. I would a thunk that they would still stink, only like tomato juice. We took showers after a tomato bath in this movie. We’re much more correct.”

:DAD2 HAD A THOUGHTFULL LOOK:

DAD2:

(THOUGHTFUL) “I guess you’re right. I’ve never thought about that. Interesting.”

:MARTIN LOOKED UP AT DAD2:

MARTIN:

(HAPPY) “You sound like Mr. Spock.”

DAD2:

(SPOCK) “That is a very illogical assumption.”

:BOTH LAUGH:

::END SCENE::

–

::START SCENE::

:CAMERA AS PERSON:

:HAND PICKS UP PAPER WITH NUMBER:

NUMBER:

“ Chloe Harmony 1023 NW Melody Rd  84962 Symphony AL”

:HAND CHECK MARKS  NEXT TO WRITING:

:CAMERA MOVES TO NEAR PORCH:

:MAN WITH FADORA OVER HIS FACE WALKS UP TO FRONT DOOR:

:MAN WITH FADORA KNOCKS ON DOOR:

:DOOR OPENS:

:CAMERA MOVES DOWN:

:MARTIN STANDS IN HIS PAJAMAS WITH A MONKEY PUPPET:

:MARTIN STANDS AGHAST WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN:

(OVER THE SHOULDER)

MWF/MAN WITH FADORA:

(SURPRISED) “Hello, do yo-“

:MARTIN SLAMS THE DOOR:

:MWF GASPS:

:MWF KNOCKS ON DOOR:

:MARTIN LOOKS THROUGH PEEK HOLE:

:DOOR LOCKS:

:INSIDE MARTIN SITS ON COUCH LOOKING AT MWF:

:MARTIN HAS A RIFLE AND IS EATING A PACKAGE OF CHOCOLATE BARS:

:MARTIN LAUGHS:

MARTIN:

(LAUGHING) “This is awesome! It’s just like the TV show I watched!”

:MOM1 WALKS IN:

MOM1:

(ANGRY) “Martin!!! How long has that man been outside knocking on the door?!? And, those weren’t all for you!! Put Dads gun back! Why are you up so early anyway?!?”

MARTIN:

“Sorry Ma’.”

MARTIN:

(WHISPERING) “Just when I started havin’ fun. I wish I had a video of that.”

:MARTIN GIGGLES:

:MRS HARMONY SHAKES HEAD:

:MRS HARMONY RUNS UP TO DOOR:

:CAMERA MOVES OUTSIDE:

:MRS HARMONY LOOKS OUT PEEK HOLE:

:MRS HARMONY OPENS DOOR:

MRS HARMONY:

(SORRY) “I’m so sorry, my son-“

MWF:

(FORGIVING) “Oh it fine. Anyway I’m Mr. Cacophony, with the Tumult Realtor agency.”

MRS HARMONY:

“Oh, what’s the problem, Mr. Cacophony?”

CACOPHONY:

“Oh, nothing much, well actually…I’m sorry, but we’ve been-“

MRS HARMONY:

(CONSEREND) “We? I’m sorry, go ahead, Mr. Cacophony.”

CACOPHONY:

“Oh yes, um they’re in the bushes. Come on boys, she’s clean.”

:THREE MEN IN SUITS AND SUNGLASSES DUST THEMSELVES OFF AND STEP ON TO THE PORCH:

:MRS HARMONY GASPS:

MAN IN SUIT1:

“Thanks Cocoa. There was a great big fire-ant hill near that bush, and they started crawling up my leg and biting all over my foot. It wa-“

CACOPHONY:

“Hush Haha. Sorry Ma’am, this is Brouhaha,”

:BROUHAHA WAVES:

BROUHAHA:

“Pleased to meet you Ma’am.”

CACOPHONY:

“This is Fracas.”

:FRACAS SOLUTES:

:FRACAS STARES AT THE WALL:

CACOPHONY:

“ At ease Fray.”

:FRACAS GOES AT EASE:

:FRACAS SHAKES HANDS WITH MRS HARMONY:

FRACAS:

(HAPPY) “Nice to meet you madam. Uh, Lt Cacophony? I’m with Haha, these fire-ants are terrible. Be careful where you step. The nasty biters.”

CACOPHONY:

“Noted Fray. This is Melee.”

:MELEE WAS ON THE SIDE OF THE PORCH:

:MELEE PULLS RIGHT HAND WITH GLOVE ON OUT OF POCKET:

MELEE:

(YELLING) “Cocoa! Lefty is back…and he’s tryin’ to get the fir’-ants. Just like uncle Murdock said!”

CACOPHONY:

“Melee, keep him in your pocket best you can until I get some better finger-cuffs.”

:MRS HARMONY LOOKED AT HIM STRANGE:

MRS. HARMONY:

“Um, OK, nice to meet you and all, but, what is it you want?”

CACOPHONY:

“Oh, yes of course, sorry, we’re here to protect you.”

MRS HARMONY:

“Ok, just a second…”

:MRS HARMONY SHUT DOOR:

:MRS HARMONY SCREAMS:

CACOPHONY:

“You think she took it ok?”

:BLACK:

::END SCENE::

–